Photos From You

This is Sarah and Don Andres. He works a full time job part time. He has his quarks, but doesn't every aspiring physicist? As Newton might have said: How do you like them apples? Well, Don Andres is allergic to apples, so it really doesn't apply, but he does have nipples the size of dinner plates, as Sarah is demonstrating. And they are even microwaveable! He is in a band called Fuzzy Koala Balls, and they are looking for a good cowbell player. For more information log onto FKB.com.

This is me laughing because I just wrote a funny book called "Monday with Mr. Fizzlebush" and I can't figure out how to get a good agent. I've checked everywhere, even inbetween the cushions on my couch. But, on the positive side, I did find enough chip crumbs to amass in a small bowl that I used as snacks for some guests I was entertaining. They loved them!

This is me and Natasha. Actually, her name probably not Natasha, but she looks like a Natasha. I saw her at Club Monarch, in Jacksonville, and was pleased that her halloween costume matched my tee shirt. A fun loving girl, Natasha divides her time evenly between 2 full time jobs and school full time. When asked how she managed to find the time, she answered that she runs off an 8 day week, thus giving herself 24 more hours with which to work.

Jason is the company spokesman. Tragically, he born with no vocal chords. So, although he doesn't speak, he does a lot of gesturing and smiling. In this picture, Jason is trying to say, "I love this shirt, and so will you."

This is Josh before he started drinking. Four hours later, he wasn't all smiles. Apparently, sometimes, you can be too drunk to funk.

Who is this guy and why is he on my couch? And where are his pants? Oh, I'm wearing them. Sadly, this poor guy has a nub for a left arm. I see this guy everywhere. He is always hanging around. I can never get him to leave my apartment. He just screams and beats his nub on the wall when he doesn't get enough attention.

This is Mike, he is a certified WIFEGUARD. He lives across the hall from The Boogs, here in sunny Gainesville. A student at UF, Mike enjoys hanging out at the beach with strange women, and writing haikus about his experiences. Here is one:
     
      all day and all night
      I sit and stare at your beach
      I like what I sea

These two cuties live in the apartment under mine. I have gotten more phone calls from my friends wondering who they are, than my friends have called me since my 21st birthday party. It was a slumber party in my barn, and apparently I wet the hay. All of the hay, and all over my friends, all two of them. So I drank way too much that night, what can I say? I had just turned 21. Plus, sweet tea just runs right through me.

This is my close friend T.J, a.k.a. Biggeth Sexeth. An old flame, Biggeth and I went to Senior prom together. Not being able to decide who got to wear the prom dress, we came to an agreement. We would both wear the dress. Not two dresses, but one custom tailored xxxtra large baby blue trimmed in pastel pink prom dress made from scratch by yours truly. It was ingenious. The waist was made from elastic so we could both dance freely in each others arms. My eyes glisten in retrospect, like the beads that shined bright on the bosom of the dress. Sadly, the dance that was us is over, but I still pull the old prom dress made for two out every once in a while, and cuddle up with a box of chocolates in the corner and cry myself to a near migrane headache, and wonder what if? What if I hadn't stepped on his feet so many times? What if I had let him wear the blond wig, instead of selfishly declaring it better suited to my skin tone? And finally, what if I would have grown the mullet he found so fiercely provocative? Here's to you, Biggeth.

This is Andrew. I caught him off guard and he whipped out his deadly pistols. Not only did he scare the hell out of me, I pissed my pants. Good thing I borrowed them from my room-mate. Sorry Seth. A junior at Florida, Andrew enjoys surfing. Tragically, both Andrew's legs where bitten off by sharks three months ago.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. But who is this mythical "they?" One thing's for sure: "They" are not illiterate. A picture isn't worth a thousand words to someone who can't even read it. Perhaps, you might argue, "they" have a strong oral tradition and express these words in auditory form rather than visual. To that I say...good point. Which takes us back to the picture at hand. A picture I got at a bargain price for well under 500 words. It's ok, the owner's a personal friend of mine. In fact, that's him, the goofy looking guy on the right. Look at him. What's he smiling about? I bet he doesn't know I'm wearing his underwear right now. And the guy on the left is his room mate. He's not smiling because he saw me steal the underwear as he caught me with them in my mouth while I was trying to gargle. Needless to say, he was not amused.

2 Wild 'n' Crazy Guys

This is me (on the right) with crazy Ross. Dude's like 9 feet tall. So, I'm chillin' at this pary and in walks Goliath wearing my "Secks, Secks, & Moore-Secks" t-shirt. The funny thing was, I didn't sell him the shirt. I asked him where he got the shirt and he said, "Yo, I stole this from my boy."
    "I know that because I made that shirt. You stole that from Kyle Starling, right?" I asked as I started laughing.
    "Damn right. And he ain't never getting it back either," he said. "I saw this shirt and I just had to have it."
    Crazy Ross lived up to his name. Not only was he dead sexy, he was my kind of shopper. You can find Ross chillin' around Jacksonville doing what he does best, and he does do it the best.

This is Lacy (The Lacington) & Brian. Here they are hangin' out in the balcony of their apartment right across from University of Florida's campus. Lacy is a 21 year-old from Jacksonville. She went to Bolles, and will graduate with honors from UF this spring. Always down for a good time, she is looking for Mr. Right to share in her memories. If you are him, drop me an email letting me know about yourself and I'll forward it to her.